| starry starry night |
[18 Nov 2009|12:13am] |
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I'm digressing from finishing my penultimate paragraph and conclusion for my Chinese Politics term paper. I think it's one of the worst I've ever done, I might be lucky to scrape by with a B. I'm just not happy with the structure, but at the point when I realised the way I had structured it wasn't ideal, I was already more than halfway through, and thoroughly unwilling to restart since I had foolishly deleted my verbatim notes from the sources. And so, I digress.
Part of me wishes Jon and I had kept a diary/blog about our NS experience. Well, technically he was the soldier, but we definitely embarked on the journey together. There were so many memorable moments that I'd love to look back on, and laugh at the silliness, immaturity or the strength displayed in the course of those 22 months. In fact, it could have even been a source of inspiration for those whose relationship is currently going through this phase, or will be. Just to show that NS isn't that big a barrier to a successful relationship.
Indeed it isn't. Just like every other challenge Jon and I have ever had to go through. We can go way back and talk about how we used to have so little time together in Sec 4, him with this almost daily canoeing trainings and tuition and all that. The times spent studying together, motivating each other (or more like him motivating me) to get through O's. Looking back on that, it's only O Levels man. There were greater challenges to come.
In JC, I look back and realise the folly of me being too clingy. I wanted every moment to be with him, but that is so silly. What's one moment in the expanse of forever? It was probably the peak of my selfishness. We were young then. Young in love, and slightly foolish. A Levels came and went, we triumphed, and moved on.
NS loomed. We did cry, the first few days of his BMT confinement. It felt so utterly miserable, having to be forced to be apart, him being barely contactable, while I had too much free time on my hands. It was such a clash of activities. Weekends were burnt lazing around because he was tired. I didn't have anything better to do anyway.
Then the NUS journey began. What impact would my staying in hall have on 'us'? I was in particular warned by a number of seniors that our relationship would not make it through hall life. The multitude of multi-talented single guys, seriously! Why should I commit myself to someone who could barely be there? And of course, there were the anecdotal arguments that attempted to prove this right. But we were going to prove them all wrong. Through SDU-appropriate activities, to spending almost 24/7 with the FWOC family, to studying on weekends while he was left to simply be there for me, we made it.
Now that those 22 months of madness are over, I'm so happy to see him resume his life. Going to grandparent's place weekly, playing games on his PS3, learning to drive, getting a job...it's a new chapter that awaits us. I look forward to when he starts school. It's going to be interesting. I can't wait to see how our future unfolds, but I think I know how this story ends.
And they lived happily ever after.
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| now now... |
[15 Nov 2009|11:48pm] |
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REALITY CHECK MANDI. Exams are in a week. RAWWWWR.
Mambo was REALLY FUN, better than I expected hahas. Great company too! But now it's really back to the serious stuff, getting my Chinese Politics essay done and what not. Got back my PS2249 essay, it was a major sigh of relief! Now I just hope I don't screw myself up by not studying sufficiently for the final exam...I can potentially do well in this.
SEP results for Round 1 are supposedly out soon...I really hope I get it...at least the internal offer first. Whether the uni overseas actually wants me is another problem for another day haha. Can't wait! Keep frantically checking my mailbox haha.
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| mmm delishh! |
[10 Nov 2009|01:04pm] |
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cheerful |
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Celebrated Jon's ORD with many indulgences yesterday!
After picking him up from camp, we fawned over his pink IC and headed to Jurong Point. Had yummy Shihlin XXL CHICKEN and watched THIS IS IT! Loved it, love MJ even more now. Aww. Then we made our way to Dallas at Boat Quay for KICKASS RIBS! OMG we were so full, so well-stuffed, it just wrapped up a perfect day (: WHEEE!!!
Jon starts driving practicals today...all the best!
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| beautiful disaster |
[08 Nov 2009|12:57pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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RAWR. Had a semi-distastrous trip on bicycles with Jon through the Park Connector Network. There was too much carrying of bikes across bridges, and way too little cycling. I was kind of grumpy and impatient. On the way back, I fell, TWICE. Blah.
But the night spent with the Aca peeps cheered me up greatly! With Dawn's famous apple crumble and stupid card games (but oh so funnn!!!) with scandalous consequences...haha. I suppose singing together really makes people come together!
Also slightly bummed about one thing, which is that I'll be missing SYC's 45th anniversary concert :( We were supposed to leave for Kota Kinabalu only on the 14th, but couldn't get the tickets for that day, so we're leaving on the 13th now. I'd almost bought the tickets...luckily I didn't! But I know that for one more day of fun in sun, I'll be missing out on something truly musically spectacular. More time with the family I guess!
UTU test at 10.30am tomorrow.
JONATHAN LAUW'S ORD TOMORROW. Guess which one is occupying thoughts in my mind more? (:
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| one to go |
[06 Nov 2009|03:26pm] |
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It's all about the number 1 now...1 test on Monday, 1 more term paper to go.
Just done with and submitted my IRO paper. Treated myself to some onion rings, daohuay and strawberry/peach juice from the arts canteen (:
The IHG summit was a ridiculous waste of time. But oh well, I suppose some formality is always good.
FWOCers celebrated Candy and Kevin's 21st last night! (: Our plan totally failed, but at least we had good cake (great, actually!) and a good time, as always.
Jon's ORD IS THIS COMING MONDAY!!! I'm so excited for it, I can't even think about my UTU final test that's earlier on that day. WHOOPS. Hahahaha. I'm just so glad we made it through. MILLI TOOO!!!
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| nextnextnext |
[03 Nov 2009|04:59pm] |
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mood |
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Gosh it all never ends.
After Culture Night, all focus is on carolling now! And straight off the start of the sem, crazy intensive rehearsals for Amplitude have to start. Madness seriously.
Night cycling was VERY FUN! Except that I was pretty stoned at Yiwen's party as a result, but she was so so so cute (:
Love my neighbours!
Feel so out of focus with my studies. RAWR. And I highly doubt I'll get SEP. Oh wells.
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| cumulative |
[28 Oct 2009|02:08pm] |
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Tonight's Culture Night 2009 - My World! Hope it goes well. The past 4 weeks better not have gone to waste!
Been a stressful week so far, but next week will only get worse. RAWR.
MNO project turned out NOT BAD I think, I hope that those grading it will love it too (:
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| happy 21st joycie (: |
[26 Oct 2009|01:52am] |
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The FWOCers effectively had a 3D2N chalet stay at Pasir Ris Costa Sands, courtesy of being a part of Joycie's 21st birthday celebrations! Had such a blast! All the feelings of nostalgia, the silliness and the at-home feeling...awesome! Happy 21st birthday Joycie! Don't emo about the people who didn't come, but be grateful for those who did! And there were so manymany! I'm so proud of Joycie for pulling it off (:
Rushing essay...never a good time for Man Utd to lose! Dammit.
Had tech run just now...I've never been more disappointed in myself. Did I fail to inculcate the notion that choir is a commitment, and not a choice? Bleah. Hope the tmr's full run will be better.
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| training. |
[21 Oct 2009|11:57pm] |
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Trainings make me happy. After getting over the inertia of rolling of my bed and packing, the things I learn from training, especially in soccer and touch (which are relatively new sports me) totally make up for everything. It's all just a very welcome break from schoolwork. (: Hopefully I get fitter and trimmer too!
Choir has been exhausting, but I really hope everything pays off next Wednesday. Whoosh.
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| let it snowww |
[19 Oct 2009|02:47am] |
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So with the help of Mommie and Daddy, it looks like I've decided to apply for SEP, probably to Canada, and I really hope it'll materialise (: (:
Culture Night is coming! Damn nervous! Gotta put up a good show ya. Got so much expectations all around.
I realised that as a leader, you're accountable especially to those you lead, because how much they gain from being under your leadership depends on you. So you become responsible for each individual member's growth in the whole time that you're in charge.
Had a 1T03/2T03 class gathering at James' place earlier (: Happy enlistment James!
Been having these random bouts of insomnia. Was supposed to have slept 3 hours ago. Tossed, turned, got up to shower, still can't sleep. RAWR.
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| again. |
[15 Oct 2009|02:33am] |
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I am so hurt right now, Jonathan. I wish that just for a night, I could forget that you exist, so that I can go to sleep without pain in my heart. And in my head actually. You made me cry for 2 hours. I am so exhausted. I can hardly breathe, let alone think. 'Loathe'. 'Hate'. I can't bear to use these words against you. If you mean any less to me, I wouldn't hesitate one second. But damn you, for being so damn precious.
I will heal. But for now, please, get out of my mind. You're the last thing I need right now.
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| just sometimes |
[13 Oct 2009|08:39pm] |
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Sometimes, I wish I had a more normal uni life - without the hall commitments, and with time to get a part time job, earn some of my own money...oh wells. Hopefully next year (:
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| curse you, splint! |
[07 Oct 2009|05:30pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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Went for another review at NUH yesterday. Good news? I can start removing the splint every hour to practice bending the joint. Bad news? Other than that, I have to wear it for at least 4 more weeks. This injury REALLY SUCKS MAN.
Pouts.
On a happier note, made my way all the way down to AMK to watch Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs with Jon! It was so fun, and made me sooo hungry!
I've finally started making daily to-do lists, and I'm pleased to say that I finish 90% of it. Now, I just gotta force myself to stay up that one hour or two longer to finish it all (: My hell weeks are coming up...but I will get through them!
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| you can't stop the beat! |
[01 Oct 2009|12:38am] |
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Culture Night will be on 28th October! That's FREAKING SOON. ZOMG. Okay but choir's first rehearsal went really well today I think! Got through most of You Can't Stop the Beat, and Amelia's arrangement of Wu Ding is more or less complete (: So excited for Culture Night!
And I want to give a universal hug to all who are affected by the typhoons and earthquakes and tsunami. Pouts.
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| soccer hates me. |
[23 Sep 2009|12:46am] |
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 bouncy |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MILLI! Though it's a day late, hahas. Had a great one! Starting from the night before when Jon took me to Heaven's Loft for my birthday treat (: On Sunday, Milli, HL, Jon and I scoured NTUC for our groceries for our home-cooked food gathering on MONDAY! We woke up damn early to cook lah! Hahas. It was so so so fun! Stelli, Andrea, Moses, Clare, Sammie and Anne came over for lunch (: And we had such a happy time! In the evening, Zul picked us up to head to his place for Hari Raya dinner. YUMYUM but it was so spicy! Hahahas. I had such a great weekend. Cheers and much love to all who made it awesomexzx!
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| always a fwocer |
[18 Sep 2009|03:59am] |
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 contemplative |
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While sitting in the FWOC interviews, my mind suddenly raced back to when it was my turn facing a roomful of ex-FWOCers, expectations well alive in their minds. I could feel already then, that FWOC was not something you can play around with. Creating the first impression on the freshmen is not a joke, and I suppose each year, there is the task of sifting through all the hopefuls to find the best fit team. It might not consist of the most qualified individuals, the most outgoing or even the most perfectionist. But the team is made up of a composite of all these - the natural leaders who set the pace, the reserved but hard workers, the quality controllers who ensure no compromise of standard in the midst of fatigue, and the spirited ones who keep everyone going when the chips are down. I'm glad that the FWOC that I took part in had a great mix of all of the above. Which is why we still live in longing for the sensation of those 3 months of madness - the perfect fit, the beautiful big picture which we helped achieve.
I miss you guys so freaking much. No amount of block/team bonding can replace the insane love that I felt with the FWOCers. And it hurts so much to know that naturally, as much as we'd hate to believe, this bond is fading every single day, little by little. It hurts so much, especially when my emotions are most vulnerable in the early hours of the morning.
I don't know how this happened. I'm usually not so emotionally invested in anything. But FWOC took more out of me than I thought I could give...including pieces of my heart and soul. And with each passing moment, I feel that I'm losing little fragments of the person that FWOC built me up to be...and I don't know if I can recover.
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| just cannot stand still |
[16 Sep 2009|02:51pm] |
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I guess in a situation like this, there really is no time to think too much about what I've gotten myself into, but just to do a good job of it all. Bit by bit.
Man Utd won (:
Had lots of fun with Jon Tiong, Heidi and Xieheng last night, making the gifts and skyping with Zhu Hui who's in Sweden! Hahas she's still such a gossip monger. I really hope the freshies appreciate the little doorgift we made for them (:
Choir's starting soon! YAY!
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| when you're gone. |
[10 Sep 2009|02:46pm] |
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mood |
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Had a great evening last night! Headed out with Moses on his lovely bike to Shaw Lido to catch a special SPF screening of Nine. It was so different from what I expected it to be, and I enjoyed it so much! We got VIP tickets courtesy of his boss hahas. Great seats!
The only thing is, this morning I woke up at 11, and realised that I overslept for my 8am Chinese Politics lecture. DAMMIT. I really suck at this hall life/studies thing.
Okay GPS presentation with Jessie later. Soon actually. RAWR.
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| grumble. |
[08 Sep 2009|08:13am] |
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anxious |
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Been so lazy to post ever since typing became abit of a hassle.
I don't know how I'm going to get through this week, but I will. I just have to.
DnD last friday was not bad! It was great to go with the FWOCers (: I went as Alice from Resident Evil hahas. And Gerald was crowned Mr KR! WOOHOO!
I really love my neighbours. I love the way they're just there when I did a hug, need a whine, or just need someone. You guys make KR really special for me (:
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| not gooood. |
[03 Sep 2009|01:09pm] |
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bouncy |
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Rawr. The splint is causing more pain than there was without :( Oh wells.
Responsibilities are building up. I think I should be able to handle this, but I'm not too sure myself. All this is so new to me. Chairmanship, captaincy etc. But I suppose every leader had their humble beginnings at some early point in life, so it's high time I started learning (:
Watched The Proposal! LOVED IT. Definitely something to watch again on DVD (: (:
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| keep rollin' |
[01 Sep 2009|01:49am] |
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MILLI WENT TO HARBIN! FOR THREE WEEKS! I swear a part of me left :( Oh wells.
Anyways, we successfully defended the guys and girls track titles for IBG today! SO EXCITING OKAY. And tmr, I have a date at NUH, to make the 'permanent' splint for my torn-tendon middle finger hahaha. Here's to at least 5 more weeks of pointing it around!
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| crazy! |
[26 Aug 2009|02:12pm] |
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cheerful |
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So much has gone by! E block won netball IBG (: So proud of the girls for fighting so hard, especially in our final and most difficult match! Injured my finger during soccer IBG though. I think there's a curse regarding me and soccer :( Oh wells. Went with Whye Kiat, Jon Tiong, Heidi and Xieheng for Leong Yoon Pin's A Choral Odyssey. It was not bad, and I really think it's a matter of taste. It was Xieheng's virgin choir concert experience! Hahas.
I wish I had more discipline in my studies. I'm a little worried, but I hope that with some faith and mental strength, I'll get by somehow.
Meeting Milli and Clare for dinner later! (:
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| too eventful |
[20 Aug 2009|01:04pm] |
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cheerful |
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Is there such a thing as too eventful? The days are whizzing by in a flash, and I just can't keep track of what's gone, and what's to come! It's madness. Jon and I went to Sentosa to chill on Saturday, and Iddie and Mommie celebrated their 18th and 48th birthdays this week (: Star to Burst went smoothly in the end, so I'm really proud of the freshies for putting together a concert in 2 weeks! It really was quite impressive. IBG starts today with basketball. Had our first netball training yesterday. I'm a little nervous about how we will perform tomorrow, so I'm just hoping for the best!
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| eurghh |
[14 Aug 2009|07:09pm] |
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My hair!!! I hate it, want to cut it short again. RAWR.
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| round 2 |
[13 Aug 2009|01:06am] |
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Second year in KR and NUS is starting out pretty eventful (: Just came back from a 3rd floor supper outing! So haps! I really love this year's freshies, especially the E blockers (: And we're finally getting started on IBG, so YAY!
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