spent.

my phone smashed to the ground today and i reversed into a parked car. when you call your husband to tell him, the last thing you want to hear is 'i would say be more careful but it's too late for that'. thanks for the advice. best day ever. at least we pulled off milli's bachelorette surprise.

also, my hormones are out of whack, bloated, acne and dry skin everywhere. no amount of makeup can cover that shit up.

why am i even singing in a concert the night before milli's wedding. which takes up 4 of 5 weeknights. ridiculous.

i'm tired.

very little brings me joy these days.

it's the little things.

it's really all about the little things, isn't it? like when he has to tend to work matters late, and texts that he's hoping to come back soon because 'i want to catch you before you sleep'. the thought that there is still something magical about closing out the day together, no matter how routine it can feel sometimes. i'm so in love with this man <3

time.

getting rather frustrated as the improvements in my shoulder have plateaued, and on top of that, i now have a problematic achilles. it's all getting in the way of my tennis, running, dancing etc. and it's just extremely frustrating (yes i'm using that word a lot but that's what i feel most of the time now).

also, mark this date: 20 jan 2017. oops, time will tell.

don't go to bed angry

so silly when what we argued on was about choir comm matters, not even our personal issues. i think i should step out of the tgs comm soon. some battles are not worth fighting especially when they don't add value to our relationship. it's time to take a step back and focus on what really matters.

my favourite travel buddy

ron and i just impulse-booked a 4d3n trip to sydney over the national day long 'weekend'! i was just there about 3 years ago but it's his first trip since childhood, and naturally he can't recall a thing. i'll let him pick the places to go (:

we also managed to offset about $700 in total off our flights to tokyo for the year-end tgs choir trip. hooray for amex haha!

i have a non-catholic husband

i wouldn't call myself terribly religious, and i'd be the first to admit my many failings as a catholic. but when the time came at EE to talk about the role of my/our (he's a freethinker though) faith in the marriage, it dawned on me that it did matter to me that my husband would at least attend mass and be open to the word. i was so nervous finding the words to convey that, especially since throughout our relationship up until then, i've never even really tried asking him to come for mass with me, thinking it didn't quite matter, and that i didn't want to impose on his time/sunday sleep. but when i finally plucked up the courage to blurt out my wish that we go for mass together once we got married, relief and an inexplicable joy washed over me when he agreed pretty much with no resistance, because he said he knew it'd be important to me. 4 months on, i don't think i've ever listened more intently to the sermons, or paid more attention to the proceedings throughout mass. it's my responsibility to be tuned in, so that when he has questions, we can talk about them together. he sings along to the parts of the mass that he knows, and some familiar hymns from all those wedding gigs, and my favourite part is exchanging the sign of peace (: i believe that if his conversion is on the cards, it will be in God's time, but in the meantime, it wouldn't hurt if you helped to say a little prayer too (:

we're a team

On Saturday, we attended (or rather TGS sang for) Gabriel's friend's wedding. It was the first time I could sit up and notice when the general intercessions prayed 'for all married couples present here' (: And the homily reminded me that marriage was in essence that of giving up one's life for each other, and all that entails.

A few of us also gathered at mama's house on Sunday to celebrate her birthday! It was fun, Ron and I going to the market and queuing at our respective stalls for 20mins each, being a great team bringing all the dabao-ed noms to the car and zooming off for lunch (: In the car this morning I was telling Ron that every day since 19 Dec has been the happiest day of my life. And I can't explain this feeling any more than 'it must have been blessed by God'.

one month (:

Re-set the clock. No more dating or engagement anniversaries or 'monthiversaries'. Start from zero. One month (:

In this short span of time, I feel like while nothing has changed, everything has changed. My outlook on life - there is more to save for, to live for, to take care of myself for. There is someone's happiness that is more important than my own. Already the little sacrifices start to be made - little changes in our lifestyles to accommodate 'our' life as our own family unit.

I'm just so. happy. :D

through it all

we've only been married a week, but both of us agree that deep in our hearts, something has changed. we can't describe it, but a fullness of the heart comes close.

also, 'in sickness and in health' is already being tested, on day 6 of our honeymoon. it's only 6.45pm but my poor husband is already tucked in bed, having had a bad stomach in the morning, and fever/joint aches all day. he bravely agreed to check out the dom quartier museums this morning, but a little more than halfway through, it was evident that he wasn't doing so well. we agreed to skip the rest of the exhibits and make our way back to the hotel for him to rest. he offered to stop for lunch but i thought it was more important for him to be back somewhere comfortable. he seemed to walk back in a daze and i had to tug on his arm for him to not veer sideways. after sitting him down at the hotel lobby, i made a quick dash to get some bread and soup takeaway and hurried back as we had a train to catch as well. thankfully the small meal and a short nap seemed to give him some energy and we managed to haul our luggages to the salzburg hbf. i next made a dash into the supermarket there to get some juice and isotonic drinks for him, and it was a moment of relief to be seated on the train where he could get a good hour or so of z's.

i had plans to attend evening mass at the frauenkirche in munich when we arrived, but seeing ron's condition, i thought it better to accompany him in the hotel in case things take a turn for the worse, instead of venturing out alone. hopefully some panadol and lots of rest and water will help!